It's About Who You're Becoming

Something to share about the present situation and what I'm gleaning as the dust is settling. You see, Ethnos hit a snag recently and it totally threw me into despair. I pulled back from everything and isolated myself, so the dust could settle and so I could process what happened. In the week of silence, I found myself led to plug into 2 particular songs on my iPod - Delirious' "History Maker" (from the album "Hillsong in London") and Corrinne May's "Everything In Its Time".

Go take a listen if you have those songs on your player. What struck me was the prophetic insight Martin Smith tapped on as he spoke and sang, and especially in the lyrics he chose... they had such gravity of meaning. It almost conveys the prophet's nonchalence towards the ignorant, as if saying, "Those who have ears, let them hear." Where did all that come from? What kind of a journey did he go through to come to such spiritual understanding?

Then Corrinne May's song.... it spoke straight into my despair. What depth of understanding she had into the questions, pain and disappointing journey I was walking through. Then she deals her trump card: Plain Truth. Now, Plain Truth has its own power to weave into your soul and bring closure to what you're facing. I must have listened to that song at least 20 times that sunny afternoon.

Now what I realised was: These aren't just SONGS. There's power in them. There's an anointing and the Spirit at work upon those who listen to them, ministering to the dark places of the soul, and calling out the depths of spiritual understanding.

These are songs that take the words right out of your mouth. And give you something Bigger to look for.

It made me think that to write such songs, it takes someone who's been through the process of questioning why, in spite of trying your best, there's no "Godly" answer. It takes a frustrated human who's questioned why there's no end to it - pain upon pain, angst-driven tears, failure after failure, disappointment after disappointment... your bones and spirit wearing thin and needing answers.

These 3 weeks of painful turmoil have taught me an important truth:
It's not about the outcome.
It's about the journey and the person you're becoming as you go through it.
It's about finding out what Jesus really is about - He accepts you no matter how messed up you feel.
It's about learning to love like Him, unconditionally.

God is looking for people who understand that to be His songwriters in this world. Songwriters who know pain, who've been though a journey that built their foundation deep. Songwriters who understand because they've been molded by trial and despair, and found that it's all about who they are inside.

A friend, Eeleen, sent me her newsletter a few days ago. She said, "It takes years for God to fashion a heart and produce a testimony that gives life." How absolutely true. Trust the process, and stick it out.

God has been saying this to me personally, and I hope it speaks to those of us walking through a tough time in your life that may be fraught with frustration, confusion, pain and disappointment:

"Don't beat yourself up for not being perfect. I am with you. Don't despise the pain you're going through. I know sometimes it's impossible to bear. Don't be ashamed at the process you're going through, even though it may be marked by tears, angst and brokenness, don't be ashamed of the turbulent emotional life that is within. I can use it to make you a better artist, musician, healer, teacher, speaker. I'm using this to build depth in your soul, so you can be more prophetic, insightful. Don't be ashamed."

Trust the journey, and look at the person you're becoming through it.

- Regina